Why do WE fight?

I sat in a minibus (which is popularly known as trotro or trosky) at Mallam Junction to go to Madina, the mate kept calling to passengers by shouting, “Lapaz”, “Old Road”, “Madina…” There were three women in the trotro already when i joined, then all of a sudden, these women got down from the trotro to join a different one because they felt the first one was wasting their time. Each time the mate called out to passengers, they would look into the trotro and seeing only a few people would go to join a different one. This went on for some time till the mate decided to confront the mate of the other trotro. What started as a joke broke into a fight and if people were not around, would have turned fatal.

This is just one of such cases where people have engaged in a fight physically. We come across these everyday in our home between couples or between children, at our various workplaces, at schools, in the market places, on our roads and sometimes interestingly at our places of worship. Fighting is something that both adults and children engage in. With children however, they can easily make up wit each other than adults. Some people will walk away or become silent, others may just exchange words, insults each other and go away, the worst that can happen is that some may go physical to the extent of inflicting injuries on each other. when this happens, they may not speak to each other for sometime or may avoid each other. Often, a third party has to come in to help them iron out their differences. 

The world is full of inequalities and unjustice situations that a lot of often try as possible to strive for the justice that they deserve. sometimes in doing so, they deploy the wrong means and this leads to something else, the worst that can come out of the situation is a fight! YES! A fight can come out of that. Fighting means to contend in a physical battle.with someone. Most fights begin with exchange of words or insults. We feel so good and proud when we fight and emerge as the champions. Then we proudly tell other people how we beat the other person. 

Many Ghanaian societies frowns strongly at fighting and that is why we have some wise sayings in some of the Ghanaian languages. for example, the Dagaaba have this saying “tage ka n tage mang ar33 mgane”. Literally, this means that, when we both keep pulling, it is the calabash that will break. This saying admonishes us to avoid any form of long argument and also to avoid stretching issues. Another saying goes this way … this also means that… There are a thousand and one saying which discourages fighting among people.

When i was in basic school about ten years ago, it was a practice that when someone

steps on your toe either intentionally or unintentionally, you meet at a place (usually under a tree in an isolated place so that people do not come to separate the fight) at the close of school to fight. Often, you go with other people and they are only there as spectators and not to intervene. even after the anger had died down, you have to find a way of provoking each other to get angry again. One would push the other slightly on the shoulder and the other person pushes back, this continues till they get angry with each other again. How funny! Woe onto you if you dare lose that fight because because you will become an object of ridicule at school in the coming weeks! And more people may pick up quarrels with you.

If that is the case, why then do people fight? For me personally, I think people will fight when they feel they are unjsutly treated. When people feel that they could have enjoyed better treatment than what they are offered, they try to fight for that better treatment. At other times too, people fight because of scarcity of resources. The resources are few and we cannot all get the quantity that we desire. 

In as much as we may feel angry, cheated, treated unfairly, let down and above all hurt, we can still manage our anger and hurt PROFESSIONALLY by keeping calm. Shouting and fighting back will lead to broken relationships, shame and disgrace, bitterness and may even result in DEATH, and then we begin to regret and say had I

known, but it may be too late. That is not to say we should always allow other people to take advantage of us because we do not want to fight back. We can learn to keep calm. Keeping calm and waiting for the other person to calm down so you iron out your difference quietly will keep the relationship, prevent shame and disgrace and everyone will be alive and free from any form injuries. It does not take much to say SORRY!

Every big conflict and war started in a small way and escalated because it was not managed well. When we are confronted with situations that can lead to fighting, lets try as much as possible to be calm and iron out our difference because that small misunderstanding you are refusing to let go may be the start of the THIRD WORLD WAR!!! wink wink