The Silent Victim

We live in a society where women are always seen as vulnerable and victims of so many

A lot of men are victims of domestic violence

situations. Men are always accused of abusing and taking advantage of their female counterparts. Every year the police and those in human rights and domestic violence  would handle thousands of cases of women who are  suffering abuse at the hands of men. This drew serious condemnations from various quarters which resulted in the enactment of laws to protect the weaker sex (women) from such brutal abuses. Taking a closer look at our society, I have come to realise that a lot of men, both married and unmarried are living in hell and many of them are dying slowly. Many more will die if they are not rescued from the situations they find themselves in. When a man finds himself in a bad situation that causes pain to him, we use expressions like “men don’t cry”, “be a man”, behave like a man”, and many more to console them. Interestingly, most women say they abused a man in self-defense. A lot of men are wasting in jail because they abused a woman physically, emotionally or sexually. That is why I call them THE SILENT VICTIMS!

Women are seen as weaker than men and hence cannot harm men

Ironically, I have not come across any law, or constitution that suggests that men and women are not equal or that men can enjoy certain rights and the vice versa. The law says we are all equal, which means we must all receive the same treatment. An abused man should be given the same treatment as a woman who is abused.

What happen to men who are abused physically, emotionally and sexually? Only God knows what men suffer in the hands of some women. Many man are beaten, assaulted and molested by their wives and other females in their homes. When we mention human rights, domestic violence and abuse, a lot of people think that women are always the victims, but I think this is where we get it all wrong. A lot of male victims are often reluctant to report abuse by women because they are embarrassed, or they fear they won’t be believed, or ridiculed, or worse still, that the police may assume that since they are men, they are the perpetrators of the violence and not the victims. I will not be surprise if police officers break into laughter

Say no to domestic violence against men and women

if a man should walk into the police station to report that  he has been beaten by his wife. 

This is so because it is unheard of for a woman to maltreat a man, in fact it is considered a TABOO! This is not to say that men are perfect or they are angels,or they do everything in favour of women, they may have their own flaws but often they are not

It is “unheard” of for a woman to abuse a man

who we think them to be. This does not also mean that women are always the perpetrators,  we have a lot women who are suffering too and we have even more people fighting for these women.

While women are being encouraged to report issues of domestic abuse to the police, the story is very different from that of their male counterparts, many of whom continue to suffer in silence as they find it shameful to report abuse perpetrated to them by women. The stories that we read and hear from the media could just be a tip of the iceberg, considering that men are embarrassed to report cases of violence against them. Women have awakened from the deep slumber and are no longer who they used to be (weak, powerless and fearful), they are rubbing shoulders with their male counterparts now. I think the emancipation of women has resulted in women doing a lot of things like rape, murder, physical and verbal assault, just to mention a few, a clear indication that times are changing. That is not all the abuse men are suffering, many married women refuse to give their husbands food, some also refuse them sex as a form of punishment. When the men persist, they are accused of something called marital rape.

Both men and women can perpetuate rape and they can both be victims of rape

Can you imagine what will happen to a man if a woman is trying to abuse a man sexually? Time and again, we have seen scenes from movies where women tried seducing men and when the men resist, they (the women) tear their clothes and start screaming for help. Well, the man may get an erection and it becomes even difficult for him to defend himself because he has nothing to prove that he is the victim.  What about when  a man tries to sleep with a woman forcefully? Your guess is as good as mine! My dear women, before you cut off the manhood of that man, pour acid on him, stab him, slap him, hit his head with a pestle or a chair, pour hot water on him, push him down the stairs,  beat him up, or even deny him food, put yourself in is shoes and be merciful.

It is high time we make conscious efforts to educate and sensitise men on what to do whenever the suffer abuse so that they do not continue to suffer in silence, but be able to seek justice. Many of the men who are in abusive relationships refuse to accept that

Men and women should both feel free to report cases of abuse to the police

there is a problem, hoping that there will be a change one day (which never comes). Refusing to accept the problem exist  won’t solve the problem but only help to keep it alive. There are many community programmes that have been implemented to empower women and give them strength to report abuses, the same should be done for men who are still shy to report cases of abuse. Our societies should not continue to act as if its only women who are abused. It is only fair if equal effort and resources are channeled towards supporting men in abusive situations so that they open up, find help and be freed from the dungeons of misery they find themselves in. If not, a time will come when we will try to correct things but it may be too late to do so. Let us come together and fight towards an abuse free society. CHEERS!!!

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  1. Our silent victims will only gain a voice if they are made to understand it is normal for a man to get hurt and as such, even more normal to bring out their grievance’s. #speakup

  2. I’m glad a woman wrote this. It’s about time women knew their place. We wear provocative dresses inviting men to rape us and when they do, we say we’ve been abused. I won’t be surprised if research indicates that the percentage of men being abused are more than that of the women. God have mercy

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