Dealing with Relationships on Social Media

If you have been following Facebook group chats lately, you will realize that a lot of people are sharing so many stories about their partners and their relationships, seeking advice from other members of these groups. Some of these stories are real-life situations people find themselves in, others are fictional. Whether they are real-life situations or made-up stories, I think there is one important point that people are missing, people forget that we are all different and every relationship is different. That is why I think that the comment you receive may not necessarily provide a solution to your problem. It is not like I have a problem with people seeking others’ opinions on their issues, I don’t have a problem at all because sometimes some issues will overwhelm you and if you don’t have anyone to guide you, you may react in ways that will leave even you in awe. Most people want their identities hidden or want to be anonymous, there are however a few who do not mind posting their real identities.

Why is this even an issue that I am here ranting about? First of all, you may want to share your story

on Facebook so that if some others have had similar experiences, they will share with you how they resolved the issue. You may also be sharing it because you don’t have anyone to talk to and like the saying goes a problem shared is a problem half solved. Lastly, you may want to share so that others can learn from your ‘mistakes’ so that they don’t find themselves in similar situations. That is great, however, I think now everyone is posting anything these days just to get attention. And most of them are biased because only one side of the story is being told. What is your partner’s side of the story too? There have been a few situations where the other party has come up to tell their side of the story too, but how about situations where they do not see the post to make a rebuttal or even see but choose not to say anything at all?

Before you post about your relationship especially if the issue is specifically about your partner, remember that you know your partner better. Even if someone has been through a similar experience, these are two different individuals, different relationships, what worked for another person will not automatically work for you. Sometimes, by the time you finish reading the story, the person has already taken a position on the matter and you wonder if they need any pieces of advice. In such a situation, you will find some people passing comments like, what do you want us to say, you know what you want already and so on.

Sometimes, trust me, the person posting that story has not made any effort to resolve whatever issue it is they have with their partner before bringing it to share. For all you know, their partner is not even aware that such a  problem exists between them. They are just looking for the least opportunity to also make a post. It is like, everyone is saying something about their partner or relationship, let me also say some. But that should not be the case, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being in a relationship that doesn’t have serious challenges that will require you to seek other people’s opinions on what to do.  If you have an issue with your partner, try to talk things out with them first, social media should not be the first option. If you didn’t know, take note now, that there are so many avenues to addressing relationship issues than social media. Talk to your partner, they are the only ones who can answer some of the questions that you are asking on the issue, other people will only be giving you maybe answers.

Take note that a lot of people are so bored and use social media to kill their boredom. You may have

a genuine case but because people are bored, they will say all kinds of things about your life-or-death issue. You will see insensitive, hateful, savage and sarcastic responses from different people. Some people also refer to themselves as comment readers, they are there to read comments only, this is because of the sarcasm in the responses that follow the post. And you will even find others arguing seriously under some of these posts as if their lives depend on winning the argument. The comments may be so many that the important ones that will help to resolve and save the situation will be lost. Some of the things I read about are enough to make someone not want to ever have a relationship at all. I mean why would I want to give up my happy, problem-free single life to walk into a relationship full of problems?

One other thing that you should bear in mind before you post about your issue is, can you stand all the negative comments that people are making about your partner? If the situation is not so bad and you think there is a possibility of you getting back together, how will you feel that people said those things about your partner? Even if there is no possibility of you going back, you don’t have to let people say some of the things they do about your partner. Some people will make some analyses that you would have never thought about, maybe you wouldn’t have walked away but those analyses which may not truly reflect your situation will make you walk away. Remember that there is no relationship without misunderstanding, it is how you handle those misunderstandings that matter. There are some situations when you don’t have an option to walk away, but most of these issues that people share can be resolved.

Taking your relationship issue to a social media platform is like offering a lamb to a group of hungry lions, they will tear it apart and eat up and still ask for you. Everyone has issues they are handling, they will tell you to do things that they will never do or tell you not to do things that they are already doing, like I mentioned earlier, every relationship is unique, take time to know your partner, build your relationship on communication and learn to let your partner know she or he does things you are not comfortable with. Sometimes for all you know, they do not have ill intentions behind the things they do. And if you cannot come to a mutual agreement and you want to walk away, do so without drama. Anyone at all can tell you anything, but remember only you will live with the consequences forever. They will tell you to let that person go, and you will let a good person go and live to regret it all your life. Or they may say stay in the relationship and you will live in hell for the rest of your life.

Even if it gets to the point where you have to share that story for others to offer pieces of advice, take your time to go through the comments and choose what will work best for you. Be sure to look at the

issue from different perspectives, it is even better to talk with someone so that when they ask follow up questions, you can respond appropriately. Often, people ask follow up questions that do not receive any responses, in which case, the true picture is not painted for one to pass judgement. Let me conclude by saying that sometimes it is our actions or inactions that trigger certain behaviours from our partners. People don’t just get up one day and decide that they want to be mean to their partners, but like I mentioned, if you communicate in the relationship, most of these things will not get out of hand. I wish all those having a hard time in their relationships all the best as they try to resolve their issues, for those who are enjoying their relationships, keep at it. Not all relationships are hell, relationships are not always the unhappy situations that people paint them to look like, you too can be happy in a relationship. CHEERS!!!