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Why He Did Not Rape Me

I have told stories of how men tried raping me in the past, so why should I not share this story about the one man who did not rape me although he had the opportunity to do so?

I closed my eyes, afraid to open them because I did not know what he was going to do next. I was fully naked and I asked myself, how did I find myself here? what will happen if I refuse? I really like this man, but I value the relationship I have with him, should I sacrifice the relationship for a few minutes pleasure? If he had raped me, I would have shared the story, since he did not rape me, let me share this as well. Even to this day, I still wonder why he did not rape me.

It was a beautiful evening

It was a beautiful evening, I didn’t even realize it was evening already because we had been working on a report that needed to be submitted and we were running out of time, the deadline was fast approaching. Each tick of the clock brought chills and we had even decided to stop monitoring the time just to reduce the pressure and the tension that was forming. While he was adding finishing touches to the report, I was also working on the PowerPoint presentation that we had to submit together with the report. Occasionally, he would ask for a cup of black coffee or a glass of water and I would quickly get it for him because he needed it to keep the energy and get the work done. He would also say, ‘answer my phone and tell the caller I am busy, I will call them back asap’.

I know you may be thinking this was my ‘boss’ or work colleague but no, he was none of these to me. He was just a friend I made and who I assisted with his work when I am free. I had completed school and was searching for a job, but I went around his office when I am not job hunting. When he has projects that needed extra hands, of course he invited and I would put up my best. I was beginning to see that some of his female staff envied that I was working closely with him.   I did not let that get into my head however and every time he put me on any project, I would seize the opportunity to learn new things and also ask questions when I do not understand.

That day, all the other people in the office had left and I was still working with him to get the work complete and submit. I had worked with him partially on the project and having worked with him for a while, I know what he wants to be in his PowerPoints and reports. That is why I was working on the

He would put me on some of his projects

PowerPoint and he worked on the report. I was done with the PowerPoint, I went through it over and over again to be sure that everything was in place and ready for submission, he would always emphasize that check, recheck and check again before you send any document out.

I was satisfied with the work I had done, I set up the projector so that we would go through the two documents together. We started with the report; it was about 35 pages but we went through it painfully. You know the feeling when you are familiar with a document but you have to go through it again. There were a few Ts to cross and Is to dot, we did that, completed it and looked at the PowerPoint too. At every point he would say well done, I actually wanted to tell you to add this or that but keeps forgetting, its good you added them. I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself, I kept smiling and saying thank you each time he commended me.

I sat on the couch replying to my messages

Fast forward we were both satisfied with the work that we did, we checked the time, we still had some good time so he sent the mail and we sighed a sigh of relief. He told me he was grateful that I assisted him to meet his deadline. I smiled and said nothing, he asked for another cup of coffee and said he was going to return his calls, I also said I was going to reply my whatsapp messages. He walked out of the office to make his calls and I also lay on the couch in the office replying to my messages, then I played scrabble (my favorite word game) on my phone, got bored and started dozing. It had been a long day and I was tired, I needed to go home, eat something, shower and sleep but I needed to wait for him to finish his calls first.

I tried very much to stay awake but it was like waiting for pigs to fly, I slept off. I did not know how long I slept but I felt a hand on my face which startled me to wake up. He was looking down at my face, when I opened my eyes, he said I look more beautiful in my sleep. I smiled though my heart was beating so fast, he has never come this close to me, with his face close to mine and looking into my eyes. I prayed that he would break the gaze and move away from me but he didn’t. rather he brought his face down and kissed my forehead. He pulled me up and started undressing me, I was in a state of confusion, he was a nice-looking man, smelled good, very knowledgeable and could easily sweep any woman off her feet. Some ladies have even been fighting

I slept off on the couch

to get his attention. Here I was, this ladies’ man was undressing me in his office, should I let him go ahead or should I stop him? What if he is unstoppable at this point, what if he doesn’t take a no? what if he forces to have his way. Maybe I could scream, but is that how to repay him for all his kindness? Maybe I could just let him do whatever he wanted to do, after all, we would both enjoy but if i say no, will he rape me?

By this time, he had finished undressing me and was busy undressing himself, for the first time, I realized I was fully naked. I sat on the sofa with my head in my two hands. I was very shy and could not even raise my head to look at him. When he was done undressing, he pulled me up to him and hugged me warmly, he held my chin and was about to kiss me when I pulled free and said no, I don’t want to do this. He said what, I could see he was shocked. He left me and asked if I was really sure about what I said, I responded in the affirmative and he said okay, picked up my clothes and helped me dress up and dressed up too. if you ask me why he did not rape me, I cannot say, but I am glad that he didn’t. Then he sat by me on the couch and apologized for his actions and promised it was never going to happen again. We left the office, he sent me a message to apologize again.

I told him it was fine, but I keep asking myself, what if this was with someone else? They would have forced their way on me, there are so many times, some men have raped ladies who did not even get

Say no to rape

to that extent with them, what made my story different?  I have never been raped before, but I have experienced near rape situations and I can confidently say that all those situations were nothing near what I just narrated but the men wanted to rape me. So, I keep telling people I was lucky that he did not force me, and each time I tell this story, they tell him he was probably impotent, but that is not (don’t ask me how I know that, lol). I am sure you reading this story is also interested in what everyone else keeps asking, ‘who is he?’ He is the man who did not rape me and I do not know why he did not rape me.

Any lady who has ever been raped will tell you it’s not a pleasant experience, don’t force her to have sex with you if she doesn’t want. Don’t have sex with her without her consent, try to control your feelings, a lot of ladies will not report when you rape them but there are also the few who will report. The lady you are forcing to have sex with may be one of the few, and once it is reported and proved that you are guilty, the law will take you on. Rape is a crime. Say no to rape, gentlemen still exist. You have the right to report a rape case. Don’t be shy. CHEERS!!!

 

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49 Comments

  1. Amazing write up. Near rape situations….. I’m sure almost every woman has been there before, and the emotions of shock, confusion and fear can be paralyzing, where you wonder, you want to say no, but what if that threatens your safety? Having to chose between a rock and a hard place. I’m glad the story ended well and the courage to say no triumphed. You kept the suspense…. well penned 😘

    1. All ladies i have discussed rape issues with have either been victims or nearly raped. It is sad that a lot of us are not able to share the experiences, but I do hope that one day, the narrative will change. Thank you for passing through

      1. Kindly answer my question, I beg wai. How did you know that he is impotent? 😁😁
        But Charlie, seeing the Holy City and not entering diieeeeeh, he’s a gentleman in a thousand. But kindly ask him why he made the advances in the first place without your concern? Was he trying to test your relationship with him; whether you equally lusted over him or not?

  2. Great Write up, Sugar! For me I cherish relationships more to Mar it with a one time thingy! Think he did also cherish the relationship more than wanting to sleep with the Victim

  3. Interesting story though.
    You the lady has shown a great level of intelligence and the man has also respected his integrity.
    I wish one day you become couples 🙏

  4. It’s so brave of you to publicly speak on this sensitive topic with your personal experience. Most of us have stayed mute with the fear of being ridiculed when we speak up. But thanks to people like you for being the voice of the voiceless. Hopefully society will learn how to not judge rape and near rape victims.

  5. As much as this story is focused on the man who didn’t rape you, I believe we should all say kudos to you too. Many ladies don’t know how to say no and stand their grounds. Even at your weakest moment, you didn’t yeild. Good one, Sucré.

  6. It’s interesting read your story, kudos but you know me, I’m jealous that someone else saw you naked. My Berthy

  7. I’m quite confused with this story and not sure whether to be glad he didn’t rape you. Your description of him as someone who didn’t rape you makes light of the incident. I think the fact that he didn’t rape you is not to be praised. I think it should never have gotten to that point. You never gave him the indication that you wanted to have sex with him. Even you seeing his nakedness is traumatic enough. I think he still deserves to face the law or to at least be chastised for his inexcusable actions.

    1. I agree with you, but if listen to some of the things ladies share about the topic, getting to that point and not being raped is everything. For most of us ladies, men have never taken no even when you’re fully dressed and in an open place. It looks ‘normal’ to have men not accept no to most ladies

  8. Great write up. Proud of you that you’ve been able to talk about this experience publicly. Greater heights await you. Cheers.

      1. I still think he took advantage of you, which shouldn’t be the case. Do you still work with him? Are still in close contact with him?

  9. Your skilled and apt writing is unmatched.
    Bravo
    As for the story, you have just kept me thinking and thinking and thinking. But hey, come to my WhatsApp and greet me. I should have told you long ago that you are more hypnotising when you are in asleep.
    Congrats for being you when you had to say a difficult no.
    I must commend the man also for standing for integrity.

    1. Your implicit resistance to the advance put the man’s integrity to test. Fortunately, he passed the test. You both jealously preserved your integrity. But I can say without hesitation that after the incident, the man will respect more.

  10. That was dangerous though, considering the point you allowed him get to. As you rightly said, luck was on your side. I would have said he is a complete gentleman if he hadn’t even undressed you without you consenting to it 😃 but all the same, he deserves commendation 🤗

    1. Commendation for undressing women without their consent, right 😁😁😁

      He couldn’t go ahead because he was probably shocked head rejected “a ladies’man as he appears to be”

  11. Thank God you didn’t go through that ordeal. To say no isn’t easy (especially the extent things got to) but it is very possible for both women & men. Unfortunately, people easily give in. Therefore, to not put one self in such a situation is the best way to avoid it.
    That’s a good one 👍🏾

    But………Oh you said we shouldn’t ask how you knew he wasn’t…………sorry😀😀

  12. I beg to differ on your assertion that, he was a gentle to have not raped you. This is more like someone who likes you but doesn’t know how to say it directly to your face…and he didn’t go ahead because he felt ashamed you said no…. probably he’s tried this on so many girls and it worked….after all, he’s the “ladies’ man”….

    1. You may have be right about this, but my experience with other men have taught me bitter lessons and to have come out of this ‘safely’ is surely one of the few situations

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